We find it hard to measure emotion, so just feel it... feel it all. Most importantly, enjoy it when you find it, feel it, give it, and receive it. It's the highest vibe and energy we know of 'consciously'. However, we all know that the mind has no place in the dealings of the heart.
The Heart Has Reasons The Mind Will Never Know
Have you ever noticed how we're obsessed with measuring, categorizing, and intellectualizing love? We've created elaborate theories, categories, and even mathematical equations to explain it. Yet despite all our efforts, love remains largely a mystery.
Why? Because the heart has reasons for which the mind will never know.
I want to share something meaningful with you today. After 8 years of what felt like a marathon creating this wellness approach and building the SelfCare platform, I've come to a profound realization: "Love is the answer to everything." It's not just an emotion—it's a vibration, a frequency, and ultimately a choice we make over and over again. This understanding didn't come easily, but through deep reflection, countless conversations with those I've helped, and my own healing journey.
This realization transformed how I view the SelfCare journey. The book (grab your free chapters here) explores how this understanding applies to every aspect of your wellbeing.
The 3 Major Challenges We're Here to Solve Together
- The Disconnection Epidemic: In our hyper-connected digital world, we've never felt more disconnected from authentic love. The paradox is painful—surrounded by people yet feeling profoundly alone.
- Love Without Understanding: We're trying to love others without truly understanding how they experience love, leading to relationships that feel empty despite our best intentions.
- Self-Love Deficit: We cannot pour from an empty cup, yet so many of us attempt to love others while neglecting the foundation of self-love, leaving us unfulfilled and depleted.
Would you be open to exploring a community where these challenges are addressed with compassion and practical wisdom? Our SelfCare Community is built on the understanding that connection itself is medicine.
The SelfCare Framework: Learn-Do-Embody-Teach
When it comes to love, this framework transforms abstract concepts into lived experience:
1. LEARN: Understanding Love's Languages
What if I told you that what feels like love to you might not register as love to someone else? Gary Chapman's concept of the 5 Love Languages reveals a profound truth: Different people with different personalities give and receive love in different ways.
5 love languages
Some feel loved through quality time, others through acts of service, physical touch, words of affirmation, or receiving gifts. The disconnection we feel often stems not from a lack of love, but from speaking the wrong love language.
2. DO: Practical Love in Action
Love isn't just a feeling—it's a verb. It requires consistent, intentional action aligned with understanding. The ancient Greeks recognized nine distinct types of love, from Eros (passionate love) to Philia (deep friendship) to Philautia (self-love).
Which of these resonates most deeply with you right now? Where might you be experiencing a deficit?
3. EMBODY: Becoming Love Itself
Remember: It's never too late to start loving better. How we love externally is a reflection of the love we hold for ourselves.
When we embody love fully, accepting every aspect of ourselves—even the "imperfections," perceived "failures," and "mistakes"—we transform not just our internal landscape but our external reality as well.
4. TEACH: Sharing Love's Wisdom
The ultimate purpose of filling your own cup is to serve from overflow, creating ripples of transformation that extend far beyond yourself.
Love Is Not What You Think It Is
"Everyone talks about letting go, but we also need to learn how to sustain, repair, love, and not leave when life gets complicated."
Would you be curious to know what love is NOT? Here are three powerful truths:
- Love is not control. True love holds on while letting go, setting free while remaining present. It's the deep trust that understands we each have our unique rivers to flow along.
- Love is not conditional. It doesn't disappear when someone is busy, distracted, or has priorities elsewhere. It remains constant through all seasons of life.
- Love is not passive. It's an active choice made over and over again, especially when fear attempts to override connection.
Your Next Step: From Understanding to Experience
The mind can comprehend love intellectually, but only the heart can experience it fully. Would you be open to taking one small step toward more authentic love today?
Take the Love Language Quiz to discover your primary love language and understand how you naturally give and receive love.
Then, share your results with someone you care about. This simple act of vulnerability creates an opening for deeper connection—the very medicine our disconnected hearts are yearning for.
The complete pathway to transforming your capacity to love and be loved is mapped out in the SelfCare Book. Grab your free chapters here to continue this journey.
Key Research References:
- Chapman, G. (2015). The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts. Northfield Publishing.
- Fisher, H. E., Xu, X., Aron, A., & Brown, L. L. (2016). Intense, Passionate, Romantic Love: A Natural Addiction? How the Fields That Investigate Romance and Substance Abuse Can Inform Each Other. Frontiers in Psychology, 7, 687.
- Fredrickson, B. L. (2013). Love 2.0: How Our Supreme Emotion Affects Everything We Feel, Think, Do, and Become. Hudson Street Press.
REFERENCES
This is directly referenced from the Amazon best-selling SelfCare Book "Lifestyle Medicine For the People" by Rory Callaghan. If you would like to read more content like this, grab the free online chapters of the book or a hard copy.
We have done our best to reference everyone's expert opinions, peer-reviewed science, and original thoughts, all references available here and referenced in the text.
We also understand that most thoughts are not our own and there is a collective unconsciousness, unconsciousness, and universal mind stream of energy that is always at work. How our references are sorted and filtered is here.
This article is for informational purposes only and should not replace professional medical advice. Always consult with your healthcare provider before beginning any new health regimen.
