Let's explore Chapter 6, where we dive into perhaps the most fundamental aspect of human wellbeing: connection.
Chapter 6: Are You Connected?
Here's a truth that might shake you: You are not separate from the world around you. In fact, you're made of the same stuff as stars, connected to every living thing through an intricate web of relationships that scientists are only beginning to understand.
As Neil deGrasse Tyson reminds us, "We are all connected; to each other, biologically. To the earth, chemically. To the rest of the universe atomically" (Tyson, 2017). This isn't just poetic language - it's scientific fact.
Let's break this down into three levels of connection:
1. Connection to Self
Think about it: When was the last time you really listened to your body? As Dr. Gabor Maté points out, "The body never lies" (Maté, 2019). Yet in our busy lives, we often ignore its wisdom.
2. Connection to Others
We're literally wired for connection. Dr. Matthew Lieberman's research shows that social pain activates the same neural circuits as physical pain (Lieberman, 2013). That's how fundamental connection is to our survival.
3. Connection to Nature
This is where things get really interesting. Research shows that spending time in nature reduces stress hormones, lowers blood pressure, and boosts immune function (Williams, 2017). As biologist E.O. Wilson explains through his concept of biophilia, we have an innate need to connect with nature (Wilson, 1984).
But here's the challenge: We're living in what Johann Hari calls an "age of disconnection" (Hari, 2018). Despite our smartphones and social media, many of us feel more isolated than ever.
The statistics are startling:
- Loneliness has doubled in the last 50 years (Cacioppo, 2008)
- The average American has only one close friend (Brashears, 2011)
- We spend 93% of our time indoors (EPA, 2018)
As Arianna Huffington notes, "We're all so connected, yet we've never been more disconnected from what matters" (Huffington, 2014).
So what can we do about it?
First, understand that connection isn't just a nice-to-have - it's essential medicine. Dr. Dean Ornish's research shows that love and connection can literally heal our bodies at a cellular level (Ornish, 2019).
Here's how to start rebuilding these vital connections:
1. Connect with Yourself:
- Practice mindfulness
- Listen to your body
- Honor your emotions
- Make time for solitude
2. Connect with Others:
- Practice deep listening
- Share vulnerably
- Create meaningful rituals
- Build community
3. Connect with Nature:
- Spend time outdoors daily
- Garden or grow something
- Connect with animals
- Protect the environment
Remember what Rachel Carson wrote:
"In nature, nothing exists alone" (Carson, 1962). The same is true for us.
But here's the key: True connection requires presence. As Jon Kabat-Zinn reminds us, "The real meditation is how you live your life" (Kabat-Zinn, 1994).
This isn't about adding more to your to-do list. It's about remembering who you really are - a connected being in a connected world. As systems scientist Fritjof Capra explains, "The more we study the major problems of our time, the more we come to realize that they cannot be understood in isolation" (Capra, 1996).
The 12 Medicines of SelfCare provide a framework for rebuilding these essential connections. But it starts with a simple question: Are you connected?
Take a moment now to check in:
- How connected do you feel to yourself?
- To your loved ones?
- To nature?
- To something larger than yourself?
Your answers might reveal where you need to focus your attention.
References:
Brashears, M. E. (2011). Small networks and high isolation? A reexamination of American discussion networks. Social Networks.
Cacioppo, J. T., & Patrick, W. (2008). Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection. W.W. Norton & Company.
Capra, F. (1996). The Web of Life: A New Scientific Understanding of Living Systems. Anchor Books.
Carson, R. (1962). Silent Spring. Houghton Mifflin.
Hari, J. (2018). Lost Connections: Uncovering the Real Causes of Depression – and the Unexpected Solutions. Bloomsbury.
Huffington, A. (2014). Thrive. Harmony Books.
Kabat-Zinn, J. (1994). Wherever You Go, There You Are. Hyperion.
Lieberman, M. D. (2013). Social: Why Our Brains Are Wired to Connect. Crown.
Maté, G. (2019). When the Body Says No: The Cost of Hidden Stress. Vermilion.
Ornish, D. (2019). UnDo It!: How Simple Lifestyle Changes Can Reverse Most Chronic Diseases. Ballantine Books.
Tyson, N. D. (2017). Astrophysics for People in a Hurry. W. W. Norton & Company.
Williams, F. (2017). The Nature Fix: Why Nature Makes Us Happier, Healthier, and More Creative. W.W. Norton & Company.
Wilson, E. O. (1984). Biophilia. Harvard University Press.
