Oct 26, 2024 4 min read

Stop Trying to Fix Yourself: The Revolutionary Approach to Holistic Wellness and Self-Acceptance | Chapter 2

Discover why you don't need fixing, but nourishing. Learn how to create an environment that supports your wellbeing, backed by science and expert insights. Embrace your innate potential and shift from self-criticism to self-care. Start your journey to true wellness and self-acceptance today.

Stop Trying to Fix Yourself: The Revolutionary Approach to Holistic Wellness and Self-Acceptance | Chapter 2
Brief summary of chapter 2 from the SelfCare book by Rory Callaghan

Alright, let's dive into a brief summary of Chapter 2 of "SelfCare." Grab a cup of tea, get comfortable, and let's explore this game-changing idea together.

Chapter 2: You Have Never Needed To Be Fixed

Here's a radical thought: What if there's nothing wrong with you?

I know, I know. In a world that's constantly telling us we're not enough - not thin enough, not rich enough, not productive enough - this idea seems almost heretical. But stick with me here, because this might just change everything.

You see, we've been sold a lie. A lie that says we're broken and need fixing. It's a lie that keeps us chasing the next diet, the next self-help book, the next quick fix. But here's the truth: You don't need fixing. You need nourishing.

Let's break this down.

Think about a plant. If it's wilting, do you blame the plant? Of course not! You look at its environment. Does it have enough water? Sunlight? Nutrients? You don't try to "fix" the plant; you create the conditions it needs to thrive.

Guess what? You're no different.

As the brilliant Dr. Gabor Maté puts it, "The question is never 'Why the addiction?' but 'Why the pain?'" (Maté, 2010). In other words, our struggles aren't a sign that we're broken; they're a sign that something in our environment needs to change.

This isn't just feel-good talk. It's backed by science. Bruce Lipton, a pioneer in epigenetics, has shown that our genes aren't our destiny. Our environment - both internal and external - plays a huge role in how our genes express themselves (Lipton, 2005).

So, what does this mean for you?

It means that instead of trying to "fix" yourself, you can focus on creating an environment that supports your wellbeing. This is what the 12 Medicines of SelfCare are all about.

Now, I can almost hear you thinking, "But Rory, I have real problems. I'm stressed, I'm overweight, I'm unhappy. Are you saying these aren't real issues?"

Of course not. Your struggles are real and valid. But they're not a sign that you're broken. They're a sign that your current environment - physical, mental, emotional, social - isn't supporting your wellbeing.

As Arianna Huffington writes in "Thrive," "We're all on a journey, and we're all a work in progress" (Huffington, 2014). The key is to shift from a mindset of "fixing" to one of "nourishing."

Here's how this might look in practice:

  1. Instead of beating yourself up for being "lazy," ask yourself what's draining your energy. Maybe you need more sleep, better nutrition, or more meaningful work.
  2. Instead of forcing yourself to exercise, find ways to move that you genuinely enjoy. Dance in your living room. Take a walk in nature. Play with your kids or pets.
  3. Instead of trying to "fix" your emotions, create space to feel them fully. As Brené Brown says, "We cannot selectively numb emotions. When we numb the painful emotions, we also numb the positive emotions" (Brown, 2010).
  4. Instead of isolating yourself when you're struggling, reach out for support. We're wired for connection, and as Johann Hari points out in "Lost Connections," many of our modern struggles stem from disconnection (Hari, 2018).

This shift in perspective is powerful.

When you stop seeing yourself as broken, you open up to your innate potential. You start to trust your body's wisdom. You become curious about what you need, rather than judgmental about what you lack.

Now, I'm not saying this is easy. We're swimming against the current of a culture that profits from our insecurities. But remember: you're not alone in this. We're all in this together, learning to nourish ourselves and each other.

As you move forward, I invite you to ask yourself: What if there's nothing wrong with me? What if, instead of trying to fix myself, I focused on creating an environment that supports my wellbeing?

This is the foundation of SelfCare. It's not about becoming a different person. It's about becoming more fully yourself. It's about creating the conditions that allow your innate health and wisdom to flourish.

So, take a deep breath. Feel the ground beneath your feet. And remember: You are not a problem to be solved. You are a magnificent, complex, beautiful human being with incredible potential. Your job isn't to fix yourself. It's to nourish yourself, to create an environment where you can thrive.

Are you ready to embrace this new perspective? Are you ready to stop fixing and start nourishing? If so, you're in for an incredible journey. Let's take the next step together.

Everyone starts here.. click if you are curious :)

References:

Brown, B. (2010). The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are. Hazelden Publishing.

Hari, J. (2018). Lost Connections: Uncovering the Real Causes of Depression – and the Unexpected Solutions. Bloomsbury Publishing.

Huffington, A. (2014). Thrive: The Third Metric to Redefining Success and Creating a Life of Well-Being, Wisdom, and Wonder. Harmony Books.

Lipton, B. H. (2005). The Biology of Belief: Unleashing the Power of Consciousness, Matter & Miracles. Mountain of Love Productions.

Maté, G. (2010). In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction. North Atlantic Books.

Rory Callaghan
Rory Callaghan
Rory is the founder and CVO for the Selfcare Global Movement. He is a curious soul with multiple health degrees and an integrated toolbelt, Inspired to share all the insights from the SelfCare book
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